Updated: May 4
Contrary to popular belief, arguing is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, when "perform" in a mindful & conscious manner, arguing can become a very powerful tool to de-clutter both your body and your mind. Let's take a look how...
Arguing acts as a toilet plunger
When we think about the word "arguing" we don't usually associate it with something positive, but the truth is, arguing can be a very healthy thing to do. Even if you are not aware that your mind is caught up in a storm of emotional anger, you can still benefit from the positive effects of arguing. How so? Well, as we express (in a burst or a more slow pace manner) the heavy stuff we have sitting on our chest, we release blocked energy, allowing the flow of life force to circulate more freely again inside the labyrinth of our mind-body organism. Arguing truly acts as a toilet plunger and helps us De-clutter the pipes of our being in a flush, I mean flash... So don't beat yourself up for letting it all out, and instead see it as a sign that your plumbing was blocked off and in need of a good old flushing. The more you start paying attention to your levels of frustration, the quicker you will notice when you have been holding onto things for too long. Slowly but surely, your arguing sessions will start to take a new shape, and become more peaceful discussions where each person expresses its grievances.
Arguing prevents calcareous deposits
Yes, not only does arguing flush out the poo-poo in our pipes, but it also prevents from accumulating too much deposits. Arguing / discussing our points of views, is a good way to regularly eliminate toxic elements and prevent the build up of aggravated frustrations. The more we express in the moment the emotions that arise inside, the cleaner our being becomes. And so if we want to make sure that our plumbing keeps clear of any calcareous deposits, we need to check on a regular basis with ourselves where our tension levels are at. And if something needs to be addressed, let's attend to it sooner rather than later. At first it might not be easy to do it in a calm manner, and things might come out abruptly and in all sorts of directions. But It's okay, the more you will practice, the easier it will get. One way to become a professional plumber is to start by observing when an emotion comes up and what triggers it. It might be a certain word, a tone that annoys the hell out of you, or a specific subject. No matter what is is, try to not judge your reaction and simply observe what it creates inside. Take a deep breath and try to convey (either to yourself or to the other person) whatever it is you are feeling in that very moment. Repeating this exercise on a regular basis will prevent any excess build up of anger and will pacify any arguments you may have in the future.
The ideal argument
Obviously this will not happen overnight, but ideally one will aim to argue in that beautifully curated manner:
Person 1 speaks and expresses its point of view in a calm manner
Person 2 listens, and listens
Person 1 stops talking and listens in return
Person 2 responds and expresses its point of view in a calm manner
Person 1 & 2 acknowledge their differences and accept to disagree
Ultimately Person 1 can get rid of person 2 and live happily ever after in a world where only his/her opinion matters ;)
As usual, I am not saying these things just to give you some good looking theoretical advice. I am able to say this to you today because I too, once upon a time, was caught up in some pretty messed up insano-argumentato on a regular basis and I wish I had someone telling me sooner, that I was caught up in the drama of my own mind and that there was definitely another way of doing this :)
Arguing does not necessarily mean your relationship is going down the toilet. It can actually be the beginning of a very beautiful one.