• Aline

RUNNING OR RUNNING AWAY?

Updated: Nov 21, 2020

I used to run. A lot. But like, “let's-go-for-a-run-coming-back-2-hours-and-30-kms-later” kinda lot... I didn't really see the "problem" with that back then. I just thought I liked to challenge myself, to see where the mind (more than the body) could take me, but truth be told...

I Was Running Away From Myself

It was hard to see at first, because running had always been a great form of exercise for me. One that would allow my Kapha watery-body to sweat out the excess liquid and move around the sturdiness & steadiness of my body constitution. And so it felt very natural to do it (still does), except that at the time I was doing it waaay too much for it to be "just a normal form of exercise". Pushing myself so hard and running in excess was in itself a giant indicator that something wasn't quite right there, but I didn't really see that at first...


And so, although some good was of course coming out of that running, like keeping the body fit and the heart strong, a lot of damages also piled up. Yes, as much as it feels great to run, running away from your emotions though, can only be a short fix, and one that will undoubtedly cost you a great deal later on down the (running) track.


And so, after a couple of "bad falls" on the coccyx as a teenager and thousands of running miles later, I ended up having this chronic injury in the L5-S1 lumbosacral joint area. I was going from one specialist to another, convinced that my body was unfairly failing me and begging every practitioner to do something about it - but to no avail. I was in my mid-twenties and yet at times I felt like I was carrying around a dead body. The physical pain & discomfort would eventually go away after a while, but only to return a few months later in full force, and as if coming out of nowhere (or so it seems). I was eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, connecting with nature all the time, and yet something kept on coming back. My physical body kept on "freezing" on the spot from time to time, blocking my entire being and leaving it bent in half with the impossibility to move properly. Why did this keep on occurring? Because I was trying to run away. I was running away from myself, from the situation I was stuck in and didn't want to face. So the body simply found a way to make me stop.


Physical Pain is Here to Speak to Us